Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Terrific Tuesday

I love this Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it....don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.  And I even have scripture to back this up, yep chapter and verse..

1Timothy 4:8  For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

AMEN and Amen..have a very blessed day.


Betsy from Tennessee said...

Cute one, Barbara.... I too love that doctor.... Glad you got us all straightened out this morning... ha ha


Anonymous said...

I love it! Wonder if the doc would see me today. LOL! Have a great day!

Deborah said...

I love this! My husband's favorite is "Round's a shape!"

Mary said...

Make me an appointment...this is my kinda doctor ! ! lol

Rebecca said...

That was really funny! Thanks for sharing! If only this were really true.

Aliene said...

Just wish!! Think of all the money we would all save on drugs we take for some of these things. We'd probably be rich! Think so?

Terri said...

Too funny. Some of them made me laugh out loud!

A Gardner's Cottage said...

Hey Barbara, That put a smile on my face. Love it!

Have a great day

Mrs. Freida said...

I'm with this Doctor....can you give me his phone number? I need to make me an appointment! I bet he makes big bucks with that advice!