Barbara's Bakin' N bits

Out of The Mouth of Babes
If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers...



Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.


Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.


Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.


Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.


Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.


Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs...


Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental


Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (The kid gets an A+ for this answer!)


Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death..


Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.


Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.


Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.


Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.


Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight